What is a collar?

There’s a meme circulating on Facebook showing “kinds” of collars, and frankly, it’s mostly BS.

About the only “kind” of collar it got right was a posture collar, and that’s because a posture collar is designed to hold someone’s head in a very high position.

A collar can be ANYTHING you want it to be. Some Dominants have different “levels” to which they collar their submissives. (Training, consideration, protection, owned, etc.)

Others…don’t. Many, in fact, don’t.

And guess what? Neither way is “wrong.” It’s whatever the Dominant and submissive (or Master and slave, or Owner and pet, or Head Poobah and their lil potentate) decide on.

There are no BDSM police who will show up and ticket you for using the “wrong” collar. (Unless you choke someone to death with it, then the REAL police will show up…)

A collar can be anything from a ring, to a tattoo, to a piercing, to a necklace or bracelet or…

Get the picture?

A collar can be a piece of jewelry. It can be a toe ring. It can be a metal “eternity” collar. it can be locked on or made to be easily removed. It can be a leather collar or a chain dog collar. It can be chainmaille or velvet or ________ (fill in the blank).

Collars also vary from dynamic to dynamic. They might use a collar like the one pictured for “play” and the submissive might or might not have a “day collar” that they can wear in vanilla settings, like a necklace or something. Or they might only use a collar for play and not have a day collar.

So, in other words, don’t sweat this. You don’t “need” any specific kind of collar. Some people have metal allergies, so what you get might have to work around that restriction. Some people are “collared” but don’t wear a collar because of their job or family or whatever.

See where I’m going with this?

There’s also a frequent BS trope in fiction where an “uncollared” submissive is grabbed at a play party by a Dominant and hauled off to be played with.

Um, noooo. That’s assault, and it doesn’t happen.

This lifestyle is what YOU make of it. If you want a highly ritualized collaring procedure, go for it. If you just want to wear one for play? Again, have at it.

Have FUN with it. Whatever is fun for YOU. Don’t worry about what someone else is doing. If it’s not fun for YOU, or you’re not getting what you need out of it, then find what makes it fun for you.

Stay kinky, my peeps.